{"product_id":"professor-of-selective-hearing-studies","title":"Professor of Selective Hearing Studies","description":"\u003ch1 data-end=\"152\" data-start=\"80\"\u003e👂 \u003cstrong data-end=\"152\" data-start=\"85\"\u003eProfessor of Selective Hearing Studies\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"157\" data-start=\"154\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"185\" data-start=\"159\"\u003e📄 Product Description:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"295\" data-start=\"187\"\u003eHe didn’t hear you ask about the trash, but he \u003cem data-end=\"239\" data-start=\"234\"\u003edid\u003c\/em\u003e hear someone open a bag of chips from three rooms away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"625\" data-start=\"297\"\u003e🎓 Presenting the \u003cstrong data-end=\"369\" data-start=\"315\"\u003eProfessor of Selective Hearing Studies Certificate\u003c\/strong\u003e, conferred by the elite \u003cem data-end=\"439\" data-start=\"394\"\u003eBluffville Institute of Audio Inconsistency\u003c\/em\u003e, in recognition of highly specialized auditory filtering — where sports scores, snack wrappers, and fridge doors come through crystal clear... but requests for help mysteriously vanish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"630\" data-start=\"627\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"671\" data-start=\"632\"\u003e🧠 Why This Makes the Perfect Gift:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"914\" data-start=\"672\"\u003e✔️ Personalized with his name\u003cbr data-end=\"704\" data-start=\"701\"\u003e✔️ Hilariously accurate (and he knows it)\u003cbr data-end=\"748\" data-start=\"745\"\u003e✔️ Perfect for man caves, office desks, or next to the TV he’s definitely listening to\u003cbr data-end=\"837\" data-start=\"834\"\u003e✔️ Delivers laughs without hurting feelings — just gentle, groan-worthy truth\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"919\" data-start=\"916\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"954\" data-start=\"921\"\u003e💬 Just a Taste of the Glory:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1041\" data-start=\"955\"\u003e\u003cem data-end=\"987\" data-start=\"955\"\u003e\"Wait, did you say something?\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr data-end=\"990\" data-start=\"987\"\u003e– Professor of Selective Hearing, probably mid-game\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1046\" data-start=\"1043\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"1064\" data-start=\"1048\"\u003e✅ Great For:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1081\" data-start=\"1067\"\u003eFather’s Day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1095\" data-start=\"1084\"\u003eBirthdays\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1121\" data-start=\"1098\"\u003eAnniversary Gag Gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1164\" data-start=\"1124\"\u003eHusbands, boyfriends, dads, and uncles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1223\" data-start=\"1167\"\u003eAnyone who magically doesn’t hear chores being mentioned\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1228\" data-start=\"1225\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"1251\" data-start=\"1230\"\u003e📐 Product Specs:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1492\" data-start=\"1252\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1261\" data-start=\"1252\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8\" x 10\"\u003cbr data-end=\"1273\" data-start=\"1270\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1283\" data-start=\"1273\"\u003ePaper:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium enhanced matte (frame-worthy \u0026amp; sarcasm-safe)\u003cbr data-end=\"1339\" data-start=\"1336\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1395\" data-start=\"1381\"\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 10.3 mil\u003cbr data-end=\"1407\" data-start=\"1404\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1418\" data-start=\"1407\"\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 189 g\/m²\u003cbr data-end=\"1430\" data-start=\"1427\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1445\" data-start=\"1430\"\u003eBrightness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 104% (like the glow from the TV he’s glued to)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1497\" data-start=\"1494\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"1531\" data-start=\"1499\"\u003e🙌 All About the Experience:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1572\" data-start=\"1534\"\u003eCustom name personalization included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1617\" data-start=\"1575\"\u003ePrinted on demand \u0026amp; shipped to your door\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1679\" data-start=\"1620\"\u003eGuaranteed to get laughs, eye-rolls, and defensive chuckles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1684\" data-start=\"1681\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1931\" data-start=\"1686\"\u003e🚨 \u003cem data-end=\"1842\" data-start=\"1689\"\u003eDisclaimer: This certificate does not improve actual listening skills, guarantee response times, or apply when you're asking for help with the laundry.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2014\" data-start=\"1933\"\u003e🧾 \u003cstrong data-end=\"2014\" data-start=\"1936\"\u003eThis is a custom product, lovingly made just for you. All sales are final.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Prank Certificates","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41649889509479,"sku":"2361735_4463","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0592\/7783\/6391\/files\/Selective_Hearing_-Framed.png?v=1756861045","url":"https:\/\/20zbfh-g6.myshopify.com\/products\/professor-of-selective-hearing-studies","provider":"Prank Certificates","version":"1.0","type":"link"}