{"product_id":"executive-of-coffee-based-survival","title":"Executive of Coffee-Based Survival","description":"\u003ch1 data-start=\"67\" data-end=\"130\"\u003e☕ Executive of Coffee-Based Survival\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"132\" data-end=\"135\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"137\" data-end=\"163\"\u003e📄 Product Description:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"165\" data-end=\"377\"\u003eShe runs on caffeine, sheer willpower, and the belief that reheated coffee still counts. Whether it’s morning mayhem, endless meetings, or a 3 p.m. crash — she’s got her mug, her stare, and her sarcasm locked in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"379\" data-end=\"642\"\u003e🎓 Presenting the \u003cstrong data-start=\"397\" data-end=\"447\"\u003eExecutive of Coffee-Based Survival Certificate\u003c\/strong\u003e, awarded by the \u003cem data-start=\"464\" data-end=\"502\"\u003eBrewston College of Caffeine \u0026amp; Chaos\u003c\/em\u003e, in recognition of highly advanced beverage-based coping skills and professional-level commitment to keeping it together one cup at a time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"644\" data-end=\"647\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"649\" data-end=\"688\"\u003e🧠 Why This Makes the Perfect Gift:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"689\" data-end=\"993\"\u003e✔️ Personalized with her name (because she \u003cem data-start=\"732\" data-end=\"740\"\u003eearned\u003c\/em\u003e this title)\u003cbr data-start=\"752\" data-end=\"755\"\u003e✔️ Perfect for coworkers, friends, tired moms, or that one magical person who drinks iced coffee in winter\u003cbr data-start=\"861\" data-end=\"864\"\u003e✔️ Looks great in offices, kitchens, or next to the emergency Nespresso stash\u003cbr data-start=\"941\" data-end=\"944\"\u003e✔️ Funny, flattering, and just painfully accurate\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"995\" data-end=\"998\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1000\" data-end=\"1033\"\u003e💬 Just a Taste of the Glory:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1034\" data-end=\"1121\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"1034\" data-end=\"1075\"\u003e\"Don’t talk to me until this is empty.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1075\" data-end=\"1078\"\u003e– Executive of Coffee-Based Survival, daily\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1123\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1128\" data-end=\"1144\"\u003e✅ Great For:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1147\" data-end=\"1168\"\u003eOffice Secret Santa\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1171\" data-end=\"1191\"\u003eBirthday Gag Gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1194\" data-end=\"1223\"\u003eMother’s Day or Galentine’s\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1226\" data-end=\"1263\"\u003eCoworkers who look tired... and are\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1266\" data-end=\"1324\"\u003ePeople who call coffee a personality trait (because it is)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1326\" data-end=\"1329\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1331\" data-end=\"1352\"\u003e📐 Product Specs:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1353\" data-end=\"1576\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1353\" data-end=\"1362\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8\" x 10\"\u003cbr data-start=\"1371\" data-end=\"1374\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1374\" data-end=\"1384\"\u003ePaper:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium enhanced matte (will not survive a coffee spill)\u003cbr data-start=\"1441\" data-end=\"1444\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1479\" data-end=\"1493\"\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 10.3 mil\u003cbr data-start=\"1502\" data-end=\"1505\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1505\" data-end=\"1516\"\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 189 g\/m²\u003cbr data-start=\"1525\" data-end=\"1528\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1528\" data-end=\"1543\"\u003eBrightness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 104% (like a light roast at 6am)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1578\" data-end=\"1581\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1583\" data-end=\"1615\"\u003e🙌 All About the Experience:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1618\" data-end=\"1649\"\u003eName personalization included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1652\" data-end=\"1687\"\u003ePrinted on demand and shipped hot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1690\" data-end=\"1750\"\u003eGuaranteed to get laughs and an “omg, that’s SO me” reaction\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1752\" data-end=\"1755\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1757\" data-end=\"1976\"\u003e🚨 \u003cem data-start=\"1760\" data-end=\"1886\"\u003eDisclaimer: This certificate does not replace caffeine dependency, office eye rolls, or the need for a third cup by 10:17am.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1978\" data-end=\"2059\"\u003e🧾 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1981\" data-end=\"2059\"\u003eThis is a custom product, lovingly made just for you. All sales are final.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Prank Certificates","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41651332251751,"sku":"2227925_4463","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0592\/7783\/6391\/files\/Copy_of_Director_of_Extended_Bathroom_Research-Framed.png?v=1756920369","url":"https:\/\/20zbfh-g6.myshopify.com\/products\/executive-of-coffee-based-survival","provider":"Prank Certificates","version":"1.0","type":"link"}