{"product_id":"director-of-extended-bathroom-research","title":"Director of Extended Bathroom Research","description":"\u003ch1 data-start=\"171\" data-end=\"239\"\u003e🚽 Director of Extended Bathroom Research\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"241\" data-end=\"244\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"246\" data-end=\"272\"\u003e📄 Product Description:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"274\" data-end=\"471\"\u003eYou thought he was handling business.\u003cbr data-start=\"311\" data-end=\"314\"\u003eBut in reality? He’s been scrolling memes, reading articles, watching reels, and possibly solving world problems... from the comfort of the porcelain throne.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"473\" data-end=\"772\"\u003e🎓 Presenting the \u003cstrong data-start=\"491\" data-end=\"545\"\u003eDirector of Extended Bathroom Research Certificate\u003c\/strong\u003e, awarded by the prestigious \u003cem data-start=\"574\" data-end=\"617\"\u003eTiledale Institute of Lavatory Innovation\u003c\/em\u003e. This honor recognizes outstanding dedication to long bathroom sessions, uninterrupted scrolling, and expertly timed “I’ll be out in a minute” statements.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"774\" data-end=\"777\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"779\" data-end=\"818\"\u003e🧠 Why This Makes the Perfect Gift:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"819\" data-end=\"1056\"\u003e✔️ Personalized with your favorite \"researcher’s\" name\u003cbr data-start=\"873\" data-end=\"876\"\u003e✔️ Uncomfortably accurate (and proudly displayed)\u003cbr data-start=\"925\" data-end=\"928\"\u003e✔️ A hilarious addition to any bathroom, office, or man cave\u003cbr data-start=\"988\" data-end=\"991\"\u003e✔️ Honors the most sacred of personal spaces: the locked bathroom\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1058\" data-end=\"1061\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1063\" data-end=\"1096\"\u003e💬 Just a Taste of the Glory:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1097\" data-end=\"1203\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"1097\" data-end=\"1140\"\u003e\"Science happens when no one’s knocking.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1140\" data-end=\"1143\"\u003e– Director of Extended Bathroom Research, probably on Hour 2\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1205\" data-end=\"1208\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1210\" data-end=\"1226\"\u003e✅ Great For:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1229\" data-end=\"1243\"\u003eFather’s Day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1246\" data-end=\"1266\"\u003eBirthday Gag Gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1269\" data-end=\"1315\"\u003eHusbands, brothers, roommates, or co-workers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1318\" data-end=\"1379\"\u003eAnyone who mysteriously disappears after grabbing their phone\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1381\" data-end=\"1384\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1386\" data-end=\"1407\"\u003e📐 Product Specs:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1408\" data-end=\"1642\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1408\" data-end=\"1417\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8\" x 10\"\u003cbr data-start=\"1426\" data-end=\"1429\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1429\" data-end=\"1439\"\u003ePaper:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium enhanced matte (TP-friendly, not waterproof)\u003cbr data-start=\"1492\" data-end=\"1495\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1537\" data-end=\"1551\"\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 10.3 mil\u003cbr data-start=\"1560\" data-end=\"1563\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1563\" data-end=\"1574\"\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 189 g\/m²\u003cbr data-start=\"1583\" data-end=\"1586\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1586\" data-end=\"1601\"\u003eBrightness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 104% (like the bathroom light at 2 a.m.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1644\" data-end=\"1647\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1649\" data-end=\"1681\"\u003e🙌 All About the Experience:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1684\" data-end=\"1715\"\u003eName personalization included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1718\" data-end=\"1758\"\u003ePrinted on demand \u0026amp; shipped discreetly\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1761\" data-end=\"1830\"\u003eGuaranteed to provoke laughs, denial, and possibly... more “research”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1832\" data-end=\"1835\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1837\" data-end=\"2106\"\u003e🚨 \u003cem data-start=\"1840\" data-end=\"2010\"\u003eDisclaimer: This certificate does not shorten bathroom sessions, block Wi-Fi in tile zones, or prevent suspicious use of air freshener. It does, however, explain a lot.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2108\" data-end=\"2189\"\u003e🧾 \u003cstrong data-start=\"2111\" data-end=\"2189\"\u003eThis is a custom product, lovingly made just for you. All sales are final.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Prank Certificates","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41651264946279,"sku":"1438688_4463","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0592\/7783\/6391\/files\/Director_of_Extended_Bathroom_Research-Framed.png?v=1756917747","url":"https:\/\/20zbfh-g6.myshopify.com\/products\/director-of-extended-bathroom-research","provider":"Prank Certificates","version":"1.0","type":"link"}