{"product_id":"chair-of-unread-student-emails","title":"Chair of Unread Student Emails","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"283\" data-start=\"221\"\u003e📬 \u003cstrong data-end=\"283\" data-start=\"224\"\u003eChair of Unread Student Emails\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"303\" data-start=\"285\"\u003eInbox? What inbox?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"674\" data-start=\"305\"\u003e🎓 Introducing the \u003cstrong data-end=\"358\" data-start=\"324\"\u003eChair of Unread Student Emails\u003c\/strong\u003e certificate, prestigiously issued by the one-and-only \u003cstrong data-end=\"457\" data-start=\"413\"\u003eInboxford School of Communications Delay\u003c\/strong\u003e. This noble (and totally made-up) diploma honors those who’ve mastered the elite academic art of ghosting panicked student emails, dodging deadline reminders, and treating inboxes like a graveyard of good intentions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"679\" data-start=\"676\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"720\" data-start=\"681\"\u003e💡 \u003cstrong data-end=\"720\" data-start=\"684\"\u003eWhy This Makes the Perfect Gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1004\" data-start=\"722\"\u003e✔️ Personalized with their name for well-deserved academic apathy\u003cbr data-end=\"790\" data-start=\"787\"\u003e✔️ Hilariously relatable for professors, TAs, or department admins\u003cbr data-end=\"859\" data-start=\"856\"\u003e✔️ Great for end-of-semester gifts, roast nights, or faculty parties\u003cbr data-end=\"930\" data-start=\"927\"\u003e✔️ Looks amazing next to real degrees… that they also ignored emails about\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1009\" data-start=\"1006\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1044\" data-start=\"1011\"\u003e💬 \u003cstrong data-end=\"1044\" data-start=\"1014\"\u003eJust a Taste of the Glory:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1160\" data-start=\"1046\"\u003e\u003cem data-end=\"1134\" data-start=\"1046\"\u003e\"Your message is very important to us. Please allow 4–6 fiscal semesters for a reply.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr data-end=\"1137\" data-start=\"1134\"\u003e– Auto-Reply Enthusiast\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1165\" data-start=\"1162\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1183\" data-start=\"1167\"\u003e✅ \u003cstrong data-end=\"1183\" data-start=\"1169\"\u003eGreat For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1225\" data-start=\"1187\"\u003eProfessors who “never saw the email”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1260\" data-start=\"1228\"\u003eTAs with 3,000 unread messages\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1295\" data-start=\"1263\"\u003eGraduation or staff room gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1330\" data-start=\"1298\"\u003eAcademic roasts \u0026amp; inside jokes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1369\" data-start=\"1333\"\u003eEmail senders still holding out hope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1374\" data-start=\"1371\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1397\" data-start=\"1376\"\u003e📐 \u003cstrong data-end=\"1397\" data-start=\"1379\"\u003eProduct Specs:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1421\" data-start=\"1401\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-end=\"1410\" data-start=\"1401\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8\" x 10\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1495\" data-start=\"1424\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-end=\"1434\" data-start=\"1424\"\u003ePaper:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium enhanced matte (resistant to unread notifications)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1548\" data-start=\"1498\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-end=\"1509\" data-start=\"1498\"\u003eOrigin:\u003c\/strong\u003e Delayed and delivered with love 🇯🇵\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1576\" data-start=\"1551\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-end=\"1565\" data-start=\"1551\"\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 10.3 mil\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1601\" data-start=\"1579\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-end=\"1590\" data-start=\"1579\"\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 189 g\/m²\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1624\" data-start=\"1604\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-end=\"1619\" data-start=\"1604\"\u003eBrightness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 104%\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1629\" data-start=\"1626\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1663\" data-start=\"1631\"\u003e🙌 \u003cstrong data-end=\"1663\" data-start=\"1634\"\u003eAll About the Experience:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1708\" data-start=\"1667\"\u003eCustom name printed on your certificate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1760\" data-start=\"1711\"\u003eProfessionally printed and shipped to your door\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1824\" data-start=\"1763\"\u003eCreated to deliver joy, laughter, and mild passive-aggression\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1829\" data-start=\"1826\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2145\" data-start=\"1831\"\u003e📪 \u003cem data-end=\"1974\" data-start=\"1834\"\u003eDisclaimer: This certificate will not improve email response times, increase student satisfaction, or guarantee a reply to your follow-up.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2145\" data-start=\"1831\"\u003e🧾 \u003cem data-end=\"2145\" data-start=\"2069\"\u003eThis is a custom product, lovingly made just for you. All sales are final.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Prank Certificates","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41655233544295,"sku":"2433202_4463","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0592\/7783\/6391\/files\/Chair_of_Unread_Student_Emails-Framed.png?v=1757035619","url":"https:\/\/20zbfh-g6.myshopify.com\/products\/chair-of-unread-student-emails","provider":"Prank Certificates","version":"1.0","type":"link"}