{"product_id":"certified-tab-hoarder","title":"Certified Tab Hoarder","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"61\" data-end=\"113\"\u003e🧠 Certified Tab Hoarder \u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"115\" data-end=\"177\"\u003eThey said it couldn’t be done. They opened another tab anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"179\" data-end=\"413\"\u003e🎓 Introducing the \u003cstrong data-start=\"198\" data-end=\"235\"\u003eCertified Tab Hoarder Certificate\u003c\/strong\u003e, awarded by the \u003cem data-start=\"252\" data-end=\"300\"\u003eByteville Institute of Multitasking Excellence\u003c\/em\u003e — a diploma-worthy honor for the Chrome warrior who has 47 tabs open and still can’t find the one playing music.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"415\" data-end=\"418\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"420\" data-end=\"459\"\u003e🧠 Why This Makes the Perfect Gift:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"460\" data-end=\"705\"\u003e✔️ Personalized with their name for full browser shame\u003cbr data-start=\"514\" data-end=\"517\"\u003e✔️ Hilariously relatable for techies, students, and office overachievers\u003cbr data-start=\"589\" data-end=\"592\"\u003e✔️ Looks amazing framed next to their frozen screen\u003cbr data-start=\"643\" data-end=\"646\"\u003e✔️ A light roast for the tab-happy multitasker in your life\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"707\" data-end=\"710\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"712\" data-end=\"745\"\u003e💬 Just a Taste of the Glory:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"746\" data-end=\"826\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"746\" data-end=\"789\"\u003e\"I’ll get to it later... once I find it.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"789\" data-end=\"792\"\u003e– Certified Tab Hoarder, every day\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"828\" data-end=\"831\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"833\" data-end=\"849\"\u003e✅ Great For:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"852\" data-end=\"882\"\u003eCoworkers with tab addiction\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"885\" data-end=\"927\"\u003eTech professionals and digital creatives\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"930\" data-end=\"959\"\u003eRemote workers and students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"962\" data-end=\"1023\"\u003eNerdy birthdays, Secret Santa, or office white elephant gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1025\" data-end=\"1028\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1030\" data-end=\"1051\"\u003e📐 Product Specs:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1052\" data-end=\"1276\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1052\" data-end=\"1061\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8\" x 10\"\u003cbr data-start=\"1070\" data-end=\"1073\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1073\" data-end=\"1083\"\u003ePaper:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium enhanced matte (resistant to digital overwhelm)\u003cbr data-start=\"1139\" data-end=\"1142\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1207\" data-end=\"1221\"\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 10.3 mil\u003cbr data-start=\"1230\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1233\" data-end=\"1244\"\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 189 g\/m²\u003cbr data-start=\"1253\" data-end=\"1256\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1256\" data-end=\"1271\"\u003eBrightness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 104%\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1278\" data-end=\"1281\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1283\" data-end=\"1315\"\u003e🙌 All About the Experience:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1318\" data-end=\"1356\"\u003eCustom name personalization included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1359\" data-end=\"1409\"\u003ePrinted and shipped with pixel-perfect precision\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1412\" data-end=\"1469\"\u003eSure to get a laugh, a gasp, or a nervous browser refresh\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1471\" data-end=\"1474\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1476\" data-end=\"1745\"\u003e🧠 \u003cem data-start=\"1479\" data-end=\"1615\"\u003eDisclaimer: This certificate does not free up RAM, close background tabs, or help you remember why you opened them in the first place.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1747\" data-end=\"1828\"\u003e🧾 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1750\" data-end=\"1828\"\u003eThis is a custom product, lovingly made just for you. All sales are final.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Prank Certificates","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41652038893671,"sku":"1634473_4463","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0592\/7783\/6391\/files\/Certified_Tab_Hoarder-Framed.png?v=1756944330","url":"https:\/\/20zbfh-g6.myshopify.com\/products\/certified-tab-hoarder","provider":"Prank Certificates","version":"1.0","type":"link"}