{"product_id":"certified-procrastinator","title":"Certified Procrastinator","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"1148\" data-end=\"1204\"\u003e🕒 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1151\" data-end=\"1204\"\u003eCertified Procrastinator\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1206\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003eWhy do it now when you can do it... eventually?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1255\" data-end=\"1539\"\u003e🎓 Introducing the \u003cstrong data-start=\"1274\" data-end=\"1314\"\u003eCertified Procrastinator Certificate\u003c\/strong\u003e, proudly awarded by the prestigious \u003cem data-start=\"1351\" data-end=\"1392\"\u003eNational Institute of Productive Delays\u003c\/em\u003e. This hilariously overdue diploma honors the masters of creative avoidance — those who thrive under last-minute pressure and call it a \"workflow.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1541\" data-end=\"1544\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1546\" data-end=\"1585\"\u003e💡 Why This Makes the Perfect Gift:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1587\" data-end=\"1864\"\u003e✔️ Custom printed with their name for ultimate “I’ll get to it later” energy\u003cbr data-start=\"1663\" data-end=\"1666\"\u003e✔️ Perfect for students, coworkers, or anyone who’s ever said “What deadline?”\u003cbr data-start=\"1744\" data-end=\"1747\"\u003e✔️ Makes a great wall piece (once they finally hang it up)\u003cbr data-start=\"1805\" data-end=\"1808\"\u003e✔️ A perfect mix of funny, true, and painfully relatable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1866\" data-end=\"1869\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1871\" data-end=\"1904\"\u003e💬 Just a Taste of the Glory:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1906\" data-end=\"1997\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"1906\" data-end=\"1949\"\u003e\"Deadlines are just… gentle suggestions.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1949\" data-end=\"1952\"\u003e– Certified Procrastinator, probably tomorrow\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1999\" data-end=\"2002\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2004\" data-end=\"2020\"\u003e✅ Great For:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2024\" data-end=\"2042\"\u003eCollege students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2045\" data-end=\"2089\"\u003eFriends who reply “Sorry just seeing this”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2092\" data-end=\"2128\"\u003eLast-minute workers (aka everyone)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2131\" data-end=\"2172\"\u003eGag gifts for office parties or roommates\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2174\" data-end=\"2177\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2179\" data-end=\"2200\"\u003e📐 Product Specs:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2204\" data-end=\"2224\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"2204\" data-end=\"2213\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8\" x 10\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2227\" data-end=\"2307\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"2227\" data-end=\"2237\"\u003ePaper:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium enhanced matte\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2361\" data-end=\"2386\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"2361\" data-end=\"2375\"\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 10.3 mil\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2389\" data-end=\"2411\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"2389\" data-end=\"2400\"\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 189 g\/m²\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2414\" data-end=\"2434\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"2414\" data-end=\"2429\"\u003eBrightness:\u003c\/strong\u003e 104%\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2436\" data-end=\"2439\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2441\" data-end=\"2473\"\u003e🙌 All About the Experience:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2477\" data-end=\"2513\"\u003ePersonalized with recipient’s name\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2516\" data-end=\"2589\"\u003ePrinted on demand and shipped right to your (eventually opened) mailbox\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2592\" data-end=\"2645\"\u003eDesigned to trigger laughter, sighs, and mild urgency\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2647\" data-end=\"2650\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2652\" data-end=\"2837\"\u003e🛑 \u003cem data-start=\"2655\" data-end=\"2755\"\u003eDisclaimer: This certificate does not submit itself, prevent deadline anxiety, or clean your desk.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2755\" data-end=\"2758\"\u003e🧾 \u003cem data-start=\"2761\" data-end=\"2837\"\u003eThis is a custom product, lovingly made just for you. All sales are final.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Prank Certificates","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41660485369959,"sku":"5415458_4463","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0592\/7783\/6391\/files\/Certified_Procrastinator_-_Framed.png?v=1757277615","url":"https:\/\/20zbfh-g6.myshopify.com\/products\/certified-procrastinator","provider":"Prank Certificates","version":"1.0","type":"link"}