{"product_id":"certified-human-disappointment-technician","title":"Certified Human Disappointment Technician (For Pets)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"1087\" data-end=\"1160\"\u003e😾 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1090\" data-end=\"1160\"\u003eCertified Human Disappointment Technician\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1162\" data-end=\"1224\"\u003eYou brought them home. You loved them. They judged you anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1226\" data-end=\"1483\"\u003e🎓 Presenting the \u003cstrong data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003eCertified Human Disappointment Technician\u003c\/strong\u003e Certificate from \u003cem data-start=\"1307\" data-end=\"1351\"\u003eCatvard School of Cold Shoulders and Chaos\u003c\/em\u003e. This dignified diploma recognizes the feline who excels at the age-old tradition of letting you know you’re not quite good enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1485\" data-end=\"1731\"\u003e🐾 Why This Makes the Purr-fect Gift:\u003cbr\u003e✔️ Personalized with your cat’s name\u003cbr data-start=\"1559\" data-end=\"1562\"\u003e✔️ Perfect for every judgmental furball\u003cbr data-start=\"1601\" data-end=\"1604\"\u003e✔️ Looks great above their chosen napping throne\u003cbr data-start=\"1652\" data-end=\"1655\"\u003e✔️ A hilarious, passive-aggressive tribute to their passive-aggressive vibes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1733\" data-end=\"1762\"\u003e💬 Just a Taste of the Glory:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1763\" data-end=\"1841\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1765\" data-end=\"1841\"\u003e“I knocked your plant off the table because I could.”\u003cbr data-start=\"1818\" data-end=\"1821\"\u003e– Recipient, proudly\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1843\" data-end=\"1855\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Great For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1858\" data-end=\"1897\"\u003eCat moms and dads who’ve been ignored\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1900\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003eGifts for your favorite antisocial feline\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"1970\"\u003eFunny pet-owner pranks\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1973\" data-end=\"2019\"\u003ePeople who are just \u003cem data-start=\"1993\" data-end=\"2000\"\u003estaff\u003c\/em\u003e in their own homes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2021\" data-end=\"2224\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e📐 Product Specs:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSize: 8\" x 10\"\u003cbr data-start=\"2053\" data-end=\"2056\"\u003ePaper: Premium enhanced matte (emotionally non-absorbent)\u003cbr data-start=\"2164\" data-end=\"2167\"\u003eThickness: 10.3 mil\u003cbr data-start=\"2186\" data-end=\"2189\"\u003eWeight: 189 g\/m²\u003cbr data-start=\"2205\" data-end=\"2208\"\u003eBrightness: 104%\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2226\" data-end=\"2254\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🙌 All About the Experience:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2257\" data-end=\"2302\"\u003eCustom cat name printed on your certificate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2355\"\u003eProfessionally produced and shipped with a shrug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2358\" data-end=\"2409\"\u003eDesigned to deliver laughs... and maybe some hisses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2411\" data-end=\"2502\"\u003e😾 Disclaimer: Certificate may cause smirks, eye rolls, or sudden naps in forbidden places.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2504\" data-end=\"2581\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🧾 This is a custom product, lovingly made just for you. All sales are final.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"For Pets","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41666421620839,"sku":"7819878_4463","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0592\/7783\/6391\/files\/Certified_Human_Disappointment_Technician_-_Framed.png?v=1758070815","url":"https:\/\/20zbfh-g6.myshopify.com\/products\/certified-human-disappointment-technician","provider":"Prank Certificates","version":"1.0","type":"link"}